1. Left With

Late night movies. Pizza at midnight.

A place at the table for everyone.

And, of course, my place was by you.

An invitation to join the fun.

You remember, don't you?

But, of course, we lose the things we love most.

We lose those nights. We lose our smiles.

We're left behind.

We lose those nights. We lose our smiles.

We're left behind. And we're left with

memories are like clouds.

Some bright and loud

with the light of the dying sun,

and you never see them again.

Some are dark and heavy.

Leave you feeling empty,

but you can always come back to them.

But you can always come back to

half-smiles, high fives, then only silence.

I got a call on the telephone,

but it wasn't from you.

Your mom said, "I've got some bad news."

And, of course, it was about you.

Cause of course we lose the things we love most.

We lose the things we love...

Love...

Memories are like clouds.

Some bright and loud

with the light of the dying sun,

and you never see them again.

Some are dark and heavy.

Leave you feeling empty,

but you can always come back to them.

But you can always come back to

If I'd seen you that day,

maybe you would have stayed.

My brain's stuck on loop just saying "maybe".

Maybe it's just a game.

You'll pop out of your grave,

and I'll shake my head and say, "You're crazy".

Why'd you leave me this way,

hoping maybe I'll wake

from this nightmare and you'll say, "You're crazy"?

Maybe I'll do the same.

Will they think of your name?

Will they sadly whisper, "They went crazy"?

We lose our minds. I lost my mind.

We lose our lives. You lost your life,

and I'm left with

memories are like clouds.

Some bright and loud

with the light of the dying sun,

and you never see them again.

Some are dark and heavy.

Leave you feeling empty,

but you can always come back to them.

But you can always come back...

But you can al—

and I'm left with...

2. Eavesdropping

Candy wrappers in my pocket,

one left out on the table.

Water glass half empty.

Empty unused plate. You’ll

be unsurprised to hear

that I’m lying on the couch,

eavesdropping on my roommate

and her friends spilling their hearts out.

Everybody’s hearts are broken right now.

Everybody wants to cry their eyes out,

but nobody will.

Everyone wishes they were someone else.

Everyone wishes

they could just be themselves.

They tell Jane he doesn’t respect her,

she should break up with him.

They listen quietly to Jared’s tales

of what might have been.

His girlfriend’s now his ex of two hours

but he says he feels fine.

They’re all pretending they don’t see

the redness edging his eyes.

James makes an offhand comment

mentioning his dad and stepmom.

Parents divorced when he was four

but it still feels kind of wrong.

Jewel saw the doctor just last week

but she won’t say what he said.

For some reason this afternoon

she went and shaved her head, and

everybody’s hearts are broken right now.

Everybody wants to cry their eyes out,

but nobody will.

Everyone wishes they were someone else.

Everyone wishes

they could just be themselves.

I wish that Jewel knew that I’m worried.

I wish Jane knew she could do better.

I wish that James could help me out,

because I’m going through that now.

I wish that Jared had someone

who would acknowledge his tears.

But I just stay quiet on the couch,

writing poetry about how

everybody’s hearts are broken right now.

Everybody wants to cry their eyes out,

but nobody will.

Everyone wishes they were someone else.

Everyone wishes

they could just be themselves.

Everybody’s hearts are broken right now.

Everybody wants to cry their eyes out,

but nobody will.

Everyone wishes they were someone else.

Everyone wishes

they could just be themselves.

Fun fact about this song:

My heart is, as a matter of fact, not broken right now.

3. World of a Thousand Dreams

Pictures in your head, in bed,

Half awake and dreaming.

Tomorrow’s stories streaming

through dull morning light. Last night’s

nightmares are gone now.

You dream of the dawn, how

brightly it shines.

We're in a world of a thousand dreams.

People will say

they’re impossible things,

and mock through a thousand screens.

Keep them your own,

let them blossom unseen.

Your own wild things, bright dreams.

Nonsensical dreams yours seem

to casual observers.

They say, “Have you heard her?

She thinks they’ll come true.” But you

believe with good reason.

Not dreams, rather visions

of days coming soon.

You're in a world of a thousand dreams.

People will say

they’re impossible things,

and mock through a thousand screens.

Keep them your own,

let them blossom unseen.

Your own wild things, bright dreams.

Somebody’s past dreams

are now coming true.

Some child is dreaming

and believing like you.

We're in a world of a thousand dreams.

People will say

they’re impossible things,

and mock through a thousand screens.

Keep them your own,

let them blossom unseen.

Your own wild things, bright dreams.

Your own wild things, bright dreams.

Fun fact about this song:

I wrote the original version of this song when I was about thirteen. The music is the same, while most of the lyrics have been changed.

4. Silver

Sliver of light soft from the silver moon above,

casting a glow on my childhood home (silver).

I shiver and hide outside, my vision a blur of

concrete and snow, silver tears and ghosts ("oo").

Your cutting words a silver sword.

My hand on hers, my eyes on yours,

tears ignored.

In my eyes you saw silver,

a glittering of tear drops.

Then I was gone like quicksilver,

and prayed I would wake up.

I don't want to leave

all the love that was ours,

but I don't want to stay

where I got all my scars.

Run from bullets of silver,

but I'm bound by bright chains of silver.

My sister cried, a wet, silver sheen on her face.

You in a rage, her in a cage (silver).

I met your eyes, my once silver tongue unsure of what to say.

I only could pray, hold her hand and wait.

Replay it like the silver screen.

Your mocking smile, your eyes' angry gleam.

I didn't blink.

In my eyes you saw silver,

a glittering of tear drops.

Then I was gone like quicksilver,

and prayed I would wake up.

I don't want to leave

all the love that was here,

but I don't want to stay

where I got all my tears.

Raindrops falling like silver

from gray clouds lined with silver.

But now all my memories of home are tarnishing.

All my trust in you is quickly vanishing.

As I run, the curtain falls to end the scene,

red like rust and heart blood,

dyed by all my lost love.

I've gone away.

I've sold all the family silver.

You say I'm a fool,

but what else could I do?

In my eyes there is silver,

a glittering of tear drops.

And I'm gone like quicksilver.

I still haven't woke up.

Why'd I have to leave

all the love that was there?

I relive it in my dreams,

and each time you don't care

that I run like quicksilver;

that I ran like quicksilver.

And now all my life is like silver,

but it isn't lovely like silver.

Fun fact about this song:

This originally had different lyrics. I wasn't satisfied with them, and ended up writing these lyrics (on an entirely different topic than the original ones) that I'm much happier with.

Track Five: Baggy Clothes

My family says

I'm getting too skinny.

I'm getting good

at acting like that's bad.

Offer me food and I say,

"I can't eat any.

The food will hurt my stomach."

Sometimes it has.

But when I skip dinner,

that's not what I think about.

I only want to be thinner,

so I block the hunger out.

I'm not the right shape or size.

I throw up and wonder why.

My boyfriend has stopped

calling me sexy.

I guess he must be right,

I must be uglier now.

I guess he's trying to tell me

I'm too heavy.

I can imagine those words

in his pretty mouth.

So when I look in the mirror,

that's all that I think about.

I see my flaws so much clearer.

Suck in my stomach, stick it out.

I'm not the right shape or size.

I throw up and wonder why.

My shorts aren't tight enough

around my waist now.

That means I'm prettier.

My weight has dropped down.

My mom says "Why do you

wear baggy clothes now?"

Cause this is the

newest trend that's going round.

When I look in the mirror,

there's one thing I care about.

Couldn't care less about the face

when my stomach's sticking out.

Almost the right shape and size.

I'll throw up just one more time...

Almost pretty.

He'll love me if I'm skinnier.

Almost pretty...

almost there...

almost...

there...

Fun fact about this song:

If he (or she) stops complimenting you, it's a him (or her) problem, not a you problem. Instead of trying to lose healthy weight, just dump the weight he/she is adding to your life.

Track Six: Masterpiece

The day you first picked up your pen

you didn't know what would be written.

It's been a tragedy so far.

This isn't how a story's supposed to start.

Already dark night of the soul

on the nineteenth page.

You won't end up where you started.

There's chapters to be charted.

The storyline's developing still.

And as you write the pages,

the plot will rearrange

although now it seems like it never will.

Edit ruthlessly.

This is your masterpiece.

You're moving past the first draft now.

You've cut the subplots you can live without.

Some characters and settings still drag you down.

So kill your darlings, burn the towns.

And step away from where you started.

There's chapters to be charted.

Your character's developing still.

And as you write the pages,

their flaws will turn to strengths

although now it seems like they never will.

Edit ruthlessly.

This is your masterpiece.

Study the best of

the stories that came before.

Turn to your book.

Take it slow, write it word by word.

Take it each night

to the desk of the Great Editor.

And remember,

the only opinions that matter are His and yours.

And when you finally reach "the end",

and, for the last time, you set down your pen...

Read back lovingly.

This is your masterpiece.

Look back at where you started.

The chapters that you charted.

You read them and remember the feeling

of how you wrote the pages

and slowly rearranged them

and crossed out words for hours until

the story was bright with polish.

The readers are astonished

at all the hero overcame.

They study it with the best books,

and you, before you rest,

look back...

at where it started.

Fun fact about this song:

I once saw a quote (by Nathan W. Morris) on a notebook cover that said, "Edit your life frequently and ruthlessly. It's your masterpiece, after all." This song was partly formed around that idea.

Track Seven: Pray That It's a Dream

There's a woman in a robe

sitting in an empty home

up in Heaven, and she knows

that one day it will be full.

Godly flowers in a vase

never need to be replaced.

All her sickness is erased,

but there's pain upon her face.

Up in Heaven with God on high,

I believe there's a mother crying

when she sees her children on their knees,

sees them praying it's a dream.

They keep waking up to see

that her bed is empty.

There's a boy lying in bed,

blanket pulled over his head

cause his mother...

is...

I can't even say the words.

Can't imagine how bad it hurts.

When he's crying, on his knees,

praying, "Let it be a dream."

Every day, he'll wake to see

that her bed is empty.

His father lies there,

missing his best friend.

His sister wishes

her mom could see her prom dress.

She misses him too.

She thinks it's beautiful.

She says, "I love you."

They know it's true.

And they sleep.

This song, along with the entire album, is dedicated, with love and great honor, to Lisa Ashton, A wonderful role model. If you read the prologue to this album, you'll remember that I referenced a "beautiful woman who gave flowers every moment of her life". That woman is Lisa Ashton, and I'm very grateful for all I've been able to learn from her and from her family.

Track Eight: Like a Broken Vessel

She's been thrown down on the ground,

her secrets shown

to the crowd that has gathered.

They've held stones above their heads,

eager to throw.

They are proud of her capture.

And she lies

like a broken vessel.

And they all spit lies,

saying, "God condemns her.

He knows what she's done."

Crouching in the dust

as her accusers rage,

tracing words with His fingers.

They demand He judge

and tell what God would say.

Would He kill her or leave her?

And He stands

by a broken vessel.

"Let a sinless man

at first condemn her.

God knows what you've done."

One by one,

her raging accusers

leave, till they are alone.

He says,

"For your downfalls

I have atoned.

Leave your sins,

and take your throne."

And she stands...

like a mended vessel.

Now I understand

that God will bless her.

He knows what she's done.

Fun fact about this song:

I know now, from way too many times of looking up the same thing online, that the correct phrase is "she lies", not "she lays". Good thing I found out before I published the album. And now you know.

Track Nine: Flames

Crimson sunrise

lighting on fire my wild eyes.

I looked to you to lead.

Didn’t know what that would mean.

And when I asked you to stop,

you just said “Why?”.

I could think of no good reply.

Couple careless weeks,

I gave up everything to be with you.

Then the fire broke loose,

a blaze tearing down the roof.

Bright flames, the way

you say you love me.

I understand that now;

all flames do is burn things down.

You asked too much,

and I didn’t want to be touched.

You touched me anyway,

acted like it was all okay.

Well, I don’t feel too okay with you,

cause you stole what was mine to lose.

Couple careless weeks,

I gave up everything to be with you.

Then the fire broke loose,

a blaze tearing down the roof.

Bright flames, the way

you say you love me.

I understand that now;

all flames do is burn things down.

You watched my eyes get brighter.

At first you loved the light,

but then the light was not enough.

You wanted all the heat.

I watched you light me on fire.

You say that you love me.

It’s funny that you think I believe you.

Let the fire break loose,

long as I can break loose from you.

Like flames, the way

you say you love me.

I think I’ll use that now,

light those flames to burn us down.

Fun fact about this song:

I rewrote the lyrics to this song at least three times. The first lyrics were... um... not great. Excerpt: "loneliness echoes, but not in the same way heartbreak does. It tears itself apart, but shuts you down when it hits too hard." Epic, huh?

If you've gone through anything like what's described in this song, I'm so sorry. I hope you're able to get the help you need, and know that it's not your fault. and you're loved.

Fun fact about this song:

This song has three key changes. Only one of them was intentional. See if you can find all three.

Track Ten: Brave Brilliant Beautiful

We used to stand around the piano and sing.

Someone would play along, just hitting random keys.

It wasn't much, but it was beautiful.

We used to go to almost every football game.

We never watched them but we sat there just the same.

It wasn't much, but it was beautiful.

And now they don't see me at all,

and they don't want to.

And I've got other pretty things

that I've moved on to

but there are

beautiful things that I've said goodbye to.

Wouldn't you think that by now I'd try to

care a bit less so it wouldn't hurt so bad?

But even if I'm disillusioned by my beautiful heroes,

if beautiful friendships become ugly,

the most beautiful thing is the endless love I have.

Even as it's falling apart,

this brave and brilliant, beautiful heart

still falls for beautiful things.

My siblings brought the speaker out on windy days

and we would dance to soundtracks from video games.

It wasn't much, but it was beautiful.

And we would sail leaves down the gutter when it rained

and we'd race with them till they fell down the storm drain.

It wasn't much, but it was beautiful.

But then I grew up and moved out,

and we grew out of that.

And when it's stormy I look out

and feel a little sad

for all the

beautiful things that I've said goodbye to.

Wouldn't you think that by now I'd try to

care a bit less so it wouldn't hurt so bad?

But even if I'm disillusioned by my beautiful heroes,

if beautiful friendships become ugly,

the most beautiful thing is the endless love I have.

Even as it's falling apart,

this brave and brilliant, beautiful heart

still falls for beautiful things.

I don't ever want to reach a point

where I have nothing significant to lose.

I'd rather take on all the disappointment

of love than give it up for comfort.

I'll never be accused

of apathy when it comes to beautiful things.

I'll be deep in love with every–

I believe there's a hundred, still growing–

I will be deep in love with every

beautiful thing I might say goodbye to.

Wouldn't you think that by now I'd try to

care a bit less so it wouldn't hurt so bad?

But even if I'm disillusioned by my beautiful heroes,

if beautiful friendships become ugly,

the most beautiful thing is the endless love I have.

Even as it's falling apart,

this brave and brilliant, beautiful heart

still falls for beautiful things–

longs for beautiful things–

lives for beautiful things.